


You Play Games with Me (But I like It)

by gunboots



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Altered Mental States, Canon Compliant, Denial of Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, Lee Minhyuk is whipped, Lee Minhyuk: Panic Gay, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of extreme idol dieting, Misunderstandings, Multi, Mutual Pining, Side Wonkyun, Yoo Kihyun Is a Little Shit, You can pry Suga and Kihyun's friendship from my cold dead fingers, rom-com hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 17:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20604323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunboots/pseuds/gunboots
Summary: “What do you want, Minhyuk?” Kihyun asks, resigned.“I’m here to help you get better, Kihyun.” Minhyuk answers, pleasant.Kihyun doesn’t bother to disguise his skepticism, making sure to openly show Minhyuk his expression.[In which Minhyuk tries to nurse Kihyun back to health for reasons—it goes as well as expected.]





	You Play Games with Me (But I like It)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DizzyTango](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DizzyTango/gifts).

> This was supposed to be a small joke drabble between friends and it escalated wildly. I usually post kpop fic on a diff account but since its a gift and because its Monsta X onto main it goes. The inspiration from this came from Hyungwon assuring v-live that “Kihyun’s mouth is working well”, Wonho jumping in to mention how Minhyuk was with him and lastly, Kihyun high off painkillers on the fancafe. 
> 
> Anyways thanks Cari for beta and handholding even though this was supposed to be a surprise gift fic oops ahaha. Title is from a Day6 song. Tried to format best I could but lol ao3 always works on its own rules so sorry in advance. Also sorry but not sorry, I love monteen and one day will write the epic friendship gen fic about Kim Mingyu and his reluctant older brother figure Yoo Kihyun. Also lol ignore how I intentionally fudged a few details about Mx’s stay in LA ok.

Kihyun’s aware he’s overdone it the second the painkillers start to wear off, five minutes into their drive back to the hotel—an excruciating amount of pain that causes every breath to feel like something is stabbing him from the inside out. It’s enough that he actually makes a noise as a bump on the road almost causes him to pass out. He also realizes, taking in a pained breath (cursing the action because somehow breathing hurts), that everyone is watching him and they know.

He’s just thankful no one is crying, but the looks on their faces isn’t much better. He’d feel guiltier if he wasn’t currently in agony. He’s embarrassed himself enough today, he won’t add anything else to it. With the painkillers wearing off, the shame of being the injured one for once comes back in full force. He’s always been so good about his health before and now, on the day he’d dreamed off, at the stage, he’s dreamed of he—

“Where are the rest of your pain meds?” Hyunwoo interrupts from the front seat, turning around to squint at him in the faded lights of Los Angeles that streak past. Hyungwon thankfully sleeps on his other side, too wiped out after their dinner with Starship’s CEO to do anything else. Unfortunately, Minhyuk is wide awake on the other side of Hyungwon, frowning deeply in disapproval—either of the situation, of Kihyun willfully ignoring doctor’s orders to his detriment, or at the fact Hyungwon was drooling on his shoulder—Kihyun doesn’t know or care. He ignores him, it’s not hard—he can barely keep his vision straight enough to focus on answering Hyunwoo.

“They’re with the manager in the other car.” Of course they were, everyone had mutually decided that Kihyun couldn’t and shouldn’t have the responsibility of trying to keep track of the pills while on them. It had made sense at the time—now he’s paying for it. Everything in their shuttle feels too much, he’s aware of everything but in a negative sense—the seat fabric itches, any sort of movement makes his insides feel like they're on fire and that includes breathing. He shuts his eyes and tries to brace himself, somehow willing the pain to stop if he can just focus on avoiding it.

In all this pain, the last thing he needs is Minhyuk’s commentary on how all of this was his fault. So naturally, Minhyuk has to open his big mouth and give Kihyun a play by play of all the mistakes he made.

“They had a chair for a reason—all you had to do was sit in the chair—”

“—Too late for that.” Kihyun snarls, gripping the seat rests on either side of him as if he could somehow transfer the pain to them. He doesn’t regret it—well, he does, but he knows, later on, he won’t—right now, the pain is coming in increasing waves so he kind of hates everything. Including and most importantly at the moment, Minhyuk.

“You didn’t have to—you know you’re always like this, you’re so stubborn—it’s a rib fracture! You could have made it worse. You’re our main vocal—” Minhyuk continues chiding as if Kihyun hadn’t interrupted.

“—Minhyuk, stop.” Hoseok interjects from the middle seat, stern. “This isn’t the time.”

“Hoseok-hyung he—”

“—It’s enough, there’s nothing he can do about it now. That’s not helping.”

“Minhyuk, calm down.” Oh, Hyungwon wasn’t asleep after all then. Kihyun doesn’t bother opening his eyes, can hear Hyungwon shift against Minhyuk’s shoulder. “It’s not like you can do anything.”

Thankfully that seems to settle it, Kihyun resigns himself to buying Hyungwon dinner when this is all over. They all lapse into what feels like stalemate, the air thick and tense. The only sound in the car is the harsh rattle of every painful intake of air he goes through.

Or at least, it’s all quiet till Minhyuk suddenly announces: “Fine, I will.”

Kihyun gathers himself enough to open one eye because _**WHAT.**_ He can’t actually see Minhyuk’s expression, any attempt to turn his head somehow increases the shooting pain in his chest, so he quickly shuts his eyes again with concentrated effort.

“Kihyun’s always taking care of us even when we don’t need him too—not hard to do the same thing to him—I’ll probably be even better at it.” Minhyuk vows because he would see this as some kind of challenge when Kihyun doesn’t feel the same.

He opens his mouth to argue that clearly, Minhyuk is delusional, so his opinions and weird stances on things are not valid or appreciated—but then the car is finally stopping at their hotel and Kihyun almost passes out in sheer relief.

**[Sunday]**

Kihyun forgets about it after he’s finally given painkillers, passing out in the safety and comfort of his hotel bed.

When he wakes up, the pain is thankfully a dull ache, and he’s lucid enough to be able to identify the many messages blowing up his phone. He’d already talked to his parents and older brother before the concert, but there’s still a few texts from them, even some from his family in Dallas who’d seen the news. There are some panicked KakaoTalk messages from different members of Seventeen—even a voice message from Mingyu which Kihyun files away for later, and a few other well wishes from different people.

Kihyun, comfortable in the hotel comforter, unbothered by the sunlight that’s currently on the other side of the thick mustard yellow curtains of the hotel window, scrolls through his different messenger apps. He pauses when KakaoTalk pings with a new message notification.

**_<<What happened to taking care of yourself? A rib fracture could kill you.>> _**Kihyun has to squint at the message a few times before it finally dawns on him who sent it.

**_<<Most people text greetings when they haven’t talked to someone in a while.>> _** Kihyun texts back without missing a beat, he distantly recalls the news mentioning something about a break for BTS but he hadn’t thought much of it at the time.

**_<<Most people go to a hospital when they’ve broken one of their ribs.>> _** Comes the response, Kihyun giggles despite himself, he can clearly picture the irritation coming off his friend in droves. Even with all the fame, accolades, and notoriety, Yoongi would always be that boy from Daegu to him.

**_<<Fractured, Yoongi—fractured. There’s a difference>> _**Kihyun fervently hopes he’ll never have to worry about comparing the two.

** _<<Don’t make me come back to LA to kick your ass.>>_ **

Kihyun’s about to call out Yoongi on his bullshit when someone opens the door to his room and stomps in without any sort of warning. His manager had already texted him that someone would be by later with food and more medication later but that hadn’t even been 10 minutes ago. Kihyun pauses, that definitely wasn’t any of the staff—

“Kihyun-ah, I can see the light from your phone, you’re awake, aren't you?” Minhyuk sings-songs as his silhouette appears at Kihyun’s bedside. Kihyun almost throws his phone at him in surprise.

“Why didn’t you knock—how did you even get in here?” Minhyuk, asshole that he is, is already walking to turn on a lamp. Kihyun hisses when the dim light that assaults his sensitive eyesight. He considers actually throwing his phone at Minhyuk after all.

“If you were sleeping, I wouldn’t want to wake you up,” Minhyuk explains like it’s so obvious, Kihyun squints at him harder. Minhyuk is grinning at him, Kihyun already feels tired. “Also staff gave me a key when I told them I’d be checking up on you.”

“If I’m sleeping then don’t come in?”

“But I wanted to see if you were awake—you’re missing breakfast, the one at the hotel is pretty good.”

“You could have just texted me?”

“I wasn’t sure if you were going to be able to text.” Minhyuk concludes, plopping down on the foot of Kihyun’s bed with little remorse for how his boney ass feels on Kihyun’s feet. Kihyun spitefully wiggles his toes, smirks when Minhyuk jumps up at the feeling. Making a face, he just relocates to his side, unapologetically in Kihyun’s space as he leans forward to continue his lecture. “You need to eat something you look pale, I mean you’re always pale but this is bad—even for you.”

Kihyun does not have it in him to deal with their routine banter. Now that Minhyuk has mentioned food, he’s very aware of how hungry he is. In betrayal, his stomach lets out a gurgle that Minhyuk waggles his eyebrows at. Kihyun rolls his eyes.

“What do you want, Minhyuk?” He asks, resigned.

“I’m here to help you get better, Kihyun.” Minhyuk answers, pleasant.

Kihyun doesn’t bother to disguise his skepticism, making sure to openly show Minhyuk his expression.

“I’m serious, I already told the staff I’m going to do my best to heal you.”

“You can barely take care of yourself—there is nothing you can do for me.”

In the face of such logic, Minhyuk, unfortunately, decides to double down.

“No, this isn’t the time for your stubbornness.” Minhyuk reasserts, with his own sense of stubbornness. “I’m going to do my best—”

“—At what, you still haven’t said what you’re helping me with.” Kihyun is starting to get a headache. He’s also getting the distinct feeling that Minhyuk doesn’t actually know what to do and still refuses to leave. Kihyun sighs—he’s still hungry, he still wants to change clothes, the least he can do is at least call Minhyuk on his bluff.

“Fine, get me breakfast.” Any movement that involves his limbs feels slower than normal, he’s not in pain thankfully, The lethargy in his limbs from a long period of rest with sudden movement. He wobbles just so when he pushes the covers back to change, not enough to unsettle him just enough to stumble. It is also enough to make Minhyuk actually obey the direct order with minimum complaint.

“You’re...you’re not going to collapse if I leave you to get you food are you?” Minhyuk asks, watching Kihyun lower himself to sit on the floor in front of his suitcase. Kihyun makes a noise of disagreement, lips pursed.

“I’m just sleepy Minhyuk, I’m not dying.” Kihyun says, digging through packing cubes and the sections of his neatly organized suitcase. “Though, I do need my food for my meds so—”

“Fine, I’ll be right back. You know you could be at least a little grateful for my help.”

“Literally didn’t ask for it but ok.” Kihyun is unbothered as he settles on a black Nike shorts and t-shirt set. He barely glances up from his suitcase. “There’s a lot of complaining going on with this nursing already—”

“I’m going, I’m going—”

*

Minhyuk will get bored because Minhyuk always tends to give up around him. If Kihyun can bear it, he’ll be back to healing in peace and solitude. Maybe, maybe he’ll even be recovered enough to at least spend some time outside the hotel before they go. He’d had so many things he’d wanted to do in LA, it’d been the stop he’d been looking forward to the most on their US tour.

At least that’s what he tells himself for the majority of their first day.

Minhyuk spends most of it in Kihyun’s room, only disappearing for a few hours to go to dance practice for the Teen Choice Awards. He brings Kihyun food constantly—even brings Kihyun water bottles from the hotel bodega so he can stay hydrated. He talks the entire time he does it, even when Kihyun is clearly not reciprocating any attempts at conversation back.

_It’s temporary._ Kihyun reminds himself as Minhyuk hogs all the blankets from his bed and continues to criticize Kihyun’s outfit. _Fighting him is only going to make him stay longer._

Either he or Minhyuk was eventually going to say something or do something to annoy the other and eventually this whole charade would be dropped. It’s predictable, it’s their pattern for their friendship, it’s just how they are. Kihyun just has to have patience, even if it is difficult because Minhyuk seems to think that bed rest means constantly offering his unwanted opinions on everything in Kihyun’s room to his clothes, his hair, and Kihyun himself.

No one else stops by during that first day either, everyone else opting to give him space to rest. The only exception is a manager who brings along a doctor to check on his progress. Kihyun goes through the motions, lifting his shirt up, laying back as the metal of the stethoscope hit his skin. It’s actually the only time Minhyuk leaves, fleeing with some mumbled excuse only to return later with dinner in a way that felt apologetic even though Kihyun isn’t sure why.

He falls asleep earlier than normal, limbs heavy like they’d been weighed down. He doesn’t even bother telling Minhyuk goodnight, so drained he doesn’t even bother to pull the covers over. Kihyun’s almost passed out completely when he hears Minhyuk get up, barely registers him straightening the comforter around him.

He’s completely passed out when Minhyuk leaves.

**[Monday]**

Minhyuk wakes him by loudly stomping in again, throwing the curtains back with an aggressive “Good Morning Kihyun-ssi.” The blinding sunlight assaults Kihyun’s eyes, making them water almost instantly. He groans, trying to cover his head with a pillow.

“I’ll kill you.” Kihyun vows, voice muffled, threat screamed through the padding. “Go away.”

“We leave early for our performance—I got you breakfast so you can eat now and rest while we’re gone.” Minhyuk says, bouncing with too much energy in his terrible, long limbs. Kihyun keeps the pillow firmly over his face. “Come on, I ordered room service.”

“You don’t need to be here for that—I can eat later.”

“Food is better enjoyed with company, specifically my company.”

“Ugh, pass.”

“That’s the pain talking, I know you want me to feed you.”

“You’d choke me.”

“Not with that attitude.”

“What?”

Kihyun lowers the pillow because once again, Minhyuk isn’t making any sense whatsoever. At least Minhyuk seems just as taken aback as he is, avoiding Kihyun’s gaze as he immediately takes the pillow from Kihyun and tries to smother himself.

“What did you—”

“Ahh, just forget it—it’s too early for this.” Minhyuk wails through the pillow. Kihyun snorts, reaching over to flick Mihyuk’s elbow vindictively. “How dare you, I come here to bring you comfort with my company—”

“How? By annoying me?”

“Annoying you? I’m bringing light into your life!” Minhyuk exclaims, throwing the pillow at Kihyun. Kihyun, vindictive, grabs it before it can hit him. He smacks Minhyuk in the face with it.

Minhyuk reaches for the other pillow next to him with a scowl.

“You’re dead.”

*

They almost miss out on breakfast because they’re too busy screaming and hitting each other to hear over room service's knocks.

When they do finally eat, they’re high off adrenaline, stealing off each other’s plates and blaming one another. Until Hyunwoo comes to collect Minhyuk for dance practice, it’s a nice time. It’s almost enough to forget the twist in Kihyun’s gut, the guilt he feels for not being able to perform with them.

He tries (and fails) not to let his disappointment show as he watches them go. He falls asleep in their makeshift battlefield, forgetting to close the curtains, too warm in the sunlight to do much but bask in it.

When Kihyun finally does wake up, it’s to the curtains drawn and soft lamp glow. There’s food in a white styrofoam container on the nightstand with a note and some plastic silverware. There’s also a polaroid of a selfie Minhyuk somehow took with a sleeping Kihyun, resting against his side and flashing a peace sign at the camera.

Minhyuk is still in makeup from the performance, his eyeliner is running enough that Kihyun can see it in the picture. He doesn’t know what to do with the knowledge that Minhyuk went straight from the performance to Kihyun’s room, that he had delivered food personally to Kihyun while he slept. He’s not even sure where Minhyuk got the polaroid from—he’s the only one with a camera and that uses a different type of film entirely.

Kihyun continues to stare at the picture, then considers the white Styrofoam container, then back to the picture.

There’s too much to unpack for him here.

“Okay.” He announces to the room, to himself, to the general mood at large, as he puts down the picture and reaches for his late dinner.

He eats lukewarm bibimbap with the television on, passively watching the nightly news.

He texts Minhyuk in thanks and does specifically not mention anything else.

**[Tuesday]**

Minhyuk doesn’t show up to annoy him awake but he does send someone else to do it.

Kihyun opens the door fully expecting one of their managers with his food and finds Hyungwon instead. Hyungwon doesn’t bother waiting to be invited inside, shoving past Kihyun with a low hum in greeting. Kihyun only doesn’t trip him because he’s carrying his lunch.

“Minhyuk is outsourcing me to keep you company till he gets here.” Hyungwon announces with gravitas of ruler sparing a criminal. Kihyun makes a disgusted noise right back at him.

“I don’t even want him here, much less you.” Kihyun informs him, smile placid.

“You’re so charming.” Hyungwon comments smile patronizingly. He sets the food down on the desk, with a yawn. “I saw you had a brownie sundae, I get half for bringing your food up here—it’s the least you can do.”

“You touch my dessert, I throw you out.” Kihyun avows, smile locked in place, eyes foreboding.

*

Because Kihyun is a generous person—and because Hyungwon can move his limbs a lot faster than expected—they end up splitting the brownie sundae. Kihyun rants to his captive audience because it’s the least Hyungwon could do.

“He’s being weird, do something about him, he’s your best friend.” Kihyun demands, finishing up his recap of Minhyuk’s near constant presence at his side for the past two days.

Hyungwon sniffs, already moving his spoon to take another scoop of ice cream and cake that Kihyun ignores graciously. “Why? You do stuff like that all the time—”

“I don’t leave you food while you’re sleeping—”

“—Yes, you do. You even make sure to leave a condescending note about how nice you are for doing it—”

“—I don’t leave you food along with a picture I took of you while you’re sleeping.”

Hyungwon pauses mid-chew, some vanilla ice cream escapes through the side of his mouth and dribbles down his plump lips. He swallows a clearly unfinished bite and winces at the action. Kihyun takes another bite with his own spoon and waits.

“...What.” Hyungwon manages after a moment, wiping at his face with a napkin.

“He wrote me a note then took a picture of him in my bed as I was sleeping.”

Hyungwon is clearly hiding something, chewing yet another stolen piece of Kihyun’s brownie sundae slowly. The action definitely seems guilty.

“What did the note say?” Hyungwon tries for conversational but comes up sounding physically pained.

“‘_That I’m cuter asleep than awake_’—which was the creepiest thing I’ve ever read.” Hyungwon makes a thoughtful noise, gaze politically blank.

“You both take things too far—you with your words and him with his actions.” Is all he offers up cryptically, though he is obviously shaken.

“This isn’t even remotely the same.” Kihyun attests, squinting at Hyungwon with judgement. “How is him taking a picture of me in the dark while I’m asleep the same level as reminding you to say ‘thank you’ because you have bad manners?”

Hyungwon shrugs, contending with a removed sort of interest: “To me it is.”

Kihyun tries to flick his forehead over the table.

*

Hyungwon must have said something to Minhyuk afterwards, when he appears at Kihyun’s door with dinner, he’s embarrassed.

“Okay, so the prank didn’t go over well.” Minhyuk states, nervous energy thruming through as he holds a Starbucks tray in one hand and a giant brown paper bag stapled shut in another. He lets himself in, nudging the door behind him closed with the back of his ankle. Kihyun glances up idly from where he’s considering which new Adidas jacket set to buy, hotel address already helpfully pulled up in his phone notes.

“That was a prank to you?” Kihyun drawls, brows raised. “How is that a prank?”

“Like ‘_oh hey look how good I am at taking care of you even when you’re asleep_’, you know—like you know?” Minhyuk practically throws Kihyun’s iced coffee at him, gesticulating wildly. “Kind of like how Changkyunnie and Wonho-hyung take pictures.”

“...Minhyuk, they’re dating.” Kihyun interjects confused at where the analogy was even going. “They take pictures of each other because they love each other.”

“Well, not like them then.” Minhyuk rushes to add, barely paying attention as he drops their dinner on the floor next to the bed. Apparently it was urgent he had to get his point across to Kihyun for some reason. Kihyun frowns when the bag lets out a soft squish of something breaking and likely spilling on Kihyun’s hotel carpet. “It’s just—whatever, sorry my humor is above your level.”

“Everyone’s humor is above your level.” Kihyun dismisses him breezily, leaning over with some effort to check his hotel floor. Minhyuk gets the message when Kihyun pointedly lets out a pained grunt and lifts the bag—no spills. Minhyuk would survive to live another day. “What did you order?”

“I ordered fried chicken from a popular place a local manager recommended me. You’re so lucky that I’m such a caring guy.” Minhyuk says, eagerly taking the change in subject. It’s almost touching that Minhyuk went out of his way to get him fried chicken. Kihyun would be more moved however if Minhyuk didn’t decide to finish his own speech about how romantic and kind he was (Kihyun thinks that none of the members can ever give him shit ever again) by declaring: “Really, the only way you can top me is if you wore a nurse’s outfit next time.”

“Wait what?” Minhyuk turns bright red, the reddest Kihyun has seen him in a while. He turns to the table, bypassing Kihyun completely as picks up their dinner, ripping straight through the brown paper bag, and pulling out plastic containers.

“I mean, you know, I doubt you could pull it off anyway Kihyunie—they don’t make them for children.” Minhyuk continues, pulling off lids and stacking them, words and actions both racing each other at breakneck speed. “That’d be cute, you as a tiny nurse who—”

“Why did you even bring up nurse outfits?” Kihyun asks, reconsidering his position that maybe stress was getting to Minhyuk after all.

“Cause I knew you’d be too cowardly to wear one, if you could even find one in your size.” Minhyuk pauses, as if waiting for Kihyun to deny him. “You know, unless—”

“No. Why would I wear one? How did that even come up in conversation?” Kihyun interrupts, he can’t tell if Minhyuk is insulting him or delirious from not eating. He’s about to argue more when he gets a whiff of the scent of freshly breaded chicken and clicks his mouth shut. “Let’s just drop it—I’m starving. I don’t even know what you’re saying anymore I’m so hungry.”

“Uhh, yeah—same, just talking.” Minhyuk agrees weakly, already diving the different flavors of fried chicken between the containers. “You know me…”

“Sometimes I wonder if I do.” Kihyun sighs, getting up from the bed to pick apart the wings in front of him. Minhyuk gives a forced giggle as he moves to separate the sides.

They eat in silence.

*

“Who’re you texting?” Kihyun had thought Minhyuk would leave after the weird atmosphere earlier, instead Minhyuk has made the fatal mistake of trying to face the awkward tension head on and refuses to leave. He’s already gone through all the channels on the television with commentary including glancing at the adult channel previews with a morbid curiosity.

(“Oh my god they can see us _**LOOKING**_ at it.”  
“Nah, that’s only if we buy it—I asked.”  
“Minhyuk turn it _**OFF.**_”)

Now he was playing a mobile game with his sound all the way up and had migrated from the hotel couch to take up space next to Kihyun on the bed. Occasionally, Minhyuk glances up when Kihyun’s notifs flash in his periphery. Kihyun doesn’t bother hiding his screen—he doubts Minhyuk would understand what he and Yoongi would be talking about anyway, already back to their own secret shared language of insults and mutual bitching.

“Different people, mostly Yoongi right now though.”

“Ah.” There was that tone again, the one Minhyuk always used whenever they (Kihyun) talked about their other friends (Yoongi). He’d started to notice it after KCON, when Kihyun had come back to the hotel room dazed and yet so energized at five am, buzzed on seeing his friend after so long. Minhyuk is clearly uncomfortable around Yoongi even though Kihyun has no idea why. At this point, he’s just accepted it as one of Minhyuk’s quirks.

“You don’t have a problem with him, do you?” Minhyuk loses his grip for a second on his phone, it bounces onto the bed with a thump.

“So you do.” He surmises.

“No, I don’t.” Minhyuk returns, the set of his jaw stating otherwise.

“Seems like you do.” Kihyun says, turning his phone face down to give Minhyuk his full attention.

“I don’t, I’ve only spoken to him once with Jooheon.” Minhyuk repeats, eyes locked onto his phone screen as he picks it up and begins resuming tapping.

“You act weird whenever I talk about him.” Kihyun continues, watching carefully for Minhyuk’s response. Minhyuk continues playing his game. “Did he say something to you?”

“No—he was polite when I met him. And no, I’m not acting weird.” Minhyuk lies, using the same tone again. There’s no point in continuing when Minhyuk is just going to keep denying whatever his deal is. It’s frustrating but Kihyun knows from experience there’s no more answers to get from him.

He fakes a yawn, feeling slightly vindicated when Minhyuk’s attention to his phone gets less focused at the sound.

“I’m kind of tired, do you mind seeing yourself out?” They’ve already packed up the rest of the leftovers and put them in Kihyun’s mini-fridge, the smell from dinner has since faded, leaving the distinct odor of metallic cold that all hotel rooms had. It feels even more alienating and awkward than before. Kihyun is suddenly filled with the desire to bundle back up in his blankets, eager to escape to sleep from it.

“Sure, goodnight Kihyunnie.” Minhyuk only briefly glances up away from his phone to give him a distracted grin. He doesn’t bother waiting for Kihyun to get finished settled in bed, reaching over to turn off the lamp and all but running from the room.

Kihyun lays there in the dark covers half-off and wonders what just happened.

**[Wednesday]**

Minhyuk wakes him up the same as usual, but his motions are quick and evasive. He opens the curtains, drops off food from the hotel’s breakfast bar, and tosses a few casual recycled insults before fleeing. He’s so quick that Kihyun is still trying to parse what he even said as he bites into his bagel.

Staff comes in with a doctor after he eats, another routine checkup that confirms the bad news that Kihyun was hoping to avoid: He’s going to have to spend the rest of the year seated at concerts and that’s only if he’s lucky. Kihyun is going to take months to recover, which he knew in the back of his mind, but having to face the reality of it...is painful. A lot more so than he expected, he sits in the hotel’s plush red recliner, head in his hands. The silence in the room is deafening, even as the sunlight washes over him from the hotel window, he feels chilled to the core.

Kihyun has a wild, insane thought, that for once, he could use Minhyuk’s endless chatter, something, anything to focus on besides the distinct fear of knowing how frail his body was. He’s already typing up something vague and insulting to get Minhyuk to come back, if only to argue with him—

“Kihyun-ah, we’re here!” Hoseok trills cheerfully, swinging open the door as he lets himself and Changkyun in. Kihyun closes the messages app on his iphone, straightening in the chair, trying not to show just how grateful he is. Hoseok and Changkyun are in matching black outfits, holding hands, and it’s a lot to take in—Kihyun actually snickers when he sees them.

“Are you both wearing the same shirt and pants?” Hoseok’s grin goes wider, flushed and so adorably in love that Kihyun almost wants to swat himself at how cute his hyung was. Changkyun, to his left gives the filthiest smirk Kihyun has ever seen, something about it makes Kihyun want to smack _**HIM**_ instead.

“I’m wearing Hosokie-hyung’s clothes.” He explains smug, Hoseok seems to realize what Changkyun is about to say next, eyes widening as Changkyun continues with a purr, “We ruined mi-”

Hoseok’s free hand firmly clamps over Changkyun’s mouth, Changkyun winks at Hoseok, smirking under Hoseok’s palm. Hoseok, attractive, taller, muscular hyung that he is, flushes harder. Kihyun, immune from repeated exposure over the course of the past few months, just clears his throat.

“Anyway Kihyunie.” Hoseok doesn’t release his hand over Changkyun’s mouth, choosing to continue as their maknae continues to stare pleased. “We talked to staff and the doctor says you’re well enough we can go eat nearby—this hotel has a cafe with amazing chocolate cake.”

“Yeah Kihyun-hyung—you should join us.” Changkyun says after Hoseok releases him with a surprised grunt, wet indents of teeth marks pressed into his palm. “Their food itself is pretty good.”

“I just said that Kkungie.”

“Hyung, you only mentioned the cake.”

The idea of leaving his room makes the decision an easy one, even with the knowledge he was going to have to third wheel to the two of them: “I’ll go. Give me fifteen to get ready.”

*

Kihyun should have known Minhyuk was up to something, should have expected that somehow he’s involved in the whole thing. In fairness, the cafe is nice—it’s got a cute Americana feel that reminds Kihyun of some of the restaurants they used to go to back on their first world tour. The food is good, Hoseok and Changkyun only flirt a little in front of him (they hold hands the entire time but what else is new), and he even has a nice time for the most part. They’re in the middle of dissecting a giant slice of chocolate cake that Hoseok had been hyping up when Kihyun realizes that Changkyun has forgone eating dessert to record him.

He’s mid-monologue about Minhyuk’s weird ‘nurse outfit’ challenge when he notices the way Changkyun keeps his phone held up. “Why are you recording me?”

“Minhyuk-hyung wanted proof that you ate.” Changkyun explains, completely fine with the fact that Kihyun has caught him. He doesn’t even bother to unlace his fingers from Hoseok’s. Hoseok has the decency to look apologetic. “He said that you can’t neglect your appetite.”

“Are you serious.”

“He’s worried about you.” Hoseok tries to assure him, Changkyun doesn’t bother stopping the recording. Kihyun makes a rude hand gesture at him. Changkyun guffaws while Hoseok looks put upon. “Kihyunnie.”

“He’s being ridiculous of course I’m going to eat—I’m starving.” Kihyun states, glaring directly at Changkyun and his phone. “I have to eat to take my meds, what are you even—”

“—See told you, you’re being crazy Minhyuk-hyung. You should apologize to Kihyun-hyung.” Changkyun says to his screen and Kihyun slowly lowers his fork. If Minhyuk was just hiding somewhere this entire time and live streaming Kihyun eating instead of just coming here to eat _**WITH** _him like a coward—

“Just kidding.” Changkyun flips over his phone to show the video that’s still going on. Kihyun kicks him under the table. Changkyun pouts at him, lowering his phone to rub at his shin. “...Okay I deserved that.”

*

The painkillers are in full force when Minhyuk appears again. The world is soft, friendly, and wonderful when Kihyun opens his eyes to find Minhyuk sitting next to him on the bed.

At least, he assumes it’s Minhyuk at first—it's obviously an imposter. This Minhyuk is resting Kihyun’s head on his lap and has his fingers in his hair. Real Minhyuk didn’t touch him so...gently. The Netflix screensaver is cycling through on the flatscreen as Minhyuk sings softly—Kihyun is disappointed this dream is so ordinary. Because it has to be a dream, Minhyuk’s been gone all day and Kihyun fell asleep hours ago. There is no way Minhyuk would just be with him like this—Minhyuk did this with everyone else **_BUT_** him.

It’s hilarious that even in his dreams Minhyuk is intruding in his room. Kihyun snickers, nudging closer to the hand on his head, eager for more of the touch. Dream Minhyuk stops singing.

“You could at least sing something nice—I hate that song.” Kihyun laments, the fingers in his hair stop and he makes a displeased noise. “I didn’t say you could stop.”

“I—oh, sorry.” Dream Minhyuk resumes petting his scalp, Kihyun lets out a pleased sigh, closing his eyes. “Better?”

Kihyun makes a noise of agreement, closing his eyes: “I can’t believe I’m dreaming about you now, isn’t that funny? I thought you would’ve given up by now but you’re around all the time and now I’m dreaming about you.”

“...What does that mean?” Dream Minhyuk sounds so offended that Kihyun chuckles, waving his hands.

“I’m just surprised you kept your word. You have a problem with me—I could never figure out what it was. After I went on that diet, it’s like you couldn’t stand me all of the sudden. It used to really bother me because I thought I did something but—I don’t mind it now, that’s how we are. I just wonder what I did.” Kihyun states simply. He’s hardly heartbroken about it, it’s just a fact. Water is wet, the sun is bright, Mihyuk and him bicker.

Dream Minhyuk goes really, really still—he’s so obviously fake, Kihyun thinks. Even when he’s nervous Minhyuk always fidgets or does something. Kihyun has never seen him not in motion.

“Y-You didn’t do anything.” Dream Minhyuk says, not unkind. Kihyun moves to sit up with a push—he sways as he does and Dream Minhyuk instantly catches him. Kihyun gives him a thumbs up—Dream Minhyuk keeps his hands on Kihyun’s shoulders.

“I thought it was the weight loss but that couldn’t be right—we’re idols, we have to do this kind of thing—”

“—Yeah but you didn’t need it.You never needed it.” Dream Minhyuk is confusing, Kihyun tells him this as he moves away. Or at least, he tries to, Dream Minhyuk is strong. “Our company shouldn’t have made you do it—that wasn’t—I never blamed you for that. I didn’t mean to—it’s not you.”

Kihyun shrugs, reveling in the fact the motion doesn’t cause any pain at all. It’s all over and done with, there’s nothing he can do it about it now anyway. It happened, it’s done with.

“—Anyways after that we started bickering. It’s kind of fun sometimes, I like how we can be blunt with each other and no one’s feelings get hurt. Even though you almost always instigate.” Kihyun concludes, unbothered.

“...Do I?” Dream Minhyuk isn’t nearly as talkative as Real Minhyuk, which is kind of a letdown. Kihyun pouts, poking at Dream Minhyuk’s cheek.

“I consider you a friend even if you treat me differently. I know you care about me—it’s different from when me and Hyungwon fight. I don’t know why. When it’s you, it’s…” Words are confusing, they feel strange in the roof of his mouth. Kihyun decides that since it’s his dream after all, he doesn’t have to say it—Dream Minhyuk will know. It’s his dream, he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn't want to.

“It’s?” Of course Dream Minhyuk had to be stubborn and make Kihyun spell it out.

Kihyun laughs, shaking his head. He reaches up and takes Dream Minhyuk’s face in his hands—Dream Minhyuk is warm and his skin is so soft—almost like Real Minhyuk. He leans his forehead on Dream Minhyuk’s, feels warm and content. Nothing can ruin this dream, this Minhyuk is adorable in a way that Real Minhyuk could never be.

“I used to think you were so pretty, you know? Even more so than Hyungwon, I liked it when you doted on me.” Kihyun admits instead with a wink, letting out a secret he’d long kept inside. Something he’d tucked away inside the recesses of his mind, paved over the room he’d hid it in.

“...Did you.” Dream Minhyuk’s eyes are wide, so wide, Kihyun can see himself reflected in them. The weirdest thing is that Dream Minhyuk sounds like he wants to cry, but his eyes show nothing. Kihyun frowns, pushing down with his thumbs on Dream Minhyuk’s cheeks. Dream Minhyuk blinks very, very slowly.

“Hmm, but that was a while ago. We aren’t those people anymore.” Kihyun replies, still wiggling his thumbs on his face.

Dream Minhyuk has now gone completely blank—Kihyun makes a chiding noise. He wants Minhyuk to go back to being dumbfounded—it’s a nicer expression on him. Anything’s better than whatever this face is.

“It’s probably for the best—I was drunk on your attention all the time which is so silly now that I think about it. I think I had a crush on you and was starting to think you had a crush on me, isn’t that silly?” Kihyun releases his face, choosing to throw himself onto the pillows behind them.

“...Is it.” Dream Minhyuk sounds like he’s expelling air like a balloon. Kihyun imagines him deflating slowly. he starts poking Dream Minhyuk to check if he is leaking air. Minhyuk maybe contrarian and rude and kind of spiteful at times (all things he’s called Kihyun which ha) but he doesn’t want to see his friend deflate. Dream Minhyuk shimmies away from his fingers.

“Ridiculous.” Kihyun whispers conspiratorially, cupping his hand around his mouth for effect. “Can you imagine?”

Dream Minhyuk goes quiet, so quiet that Kihyun thinks maybe he deflated after all.

“I could have—I could have seen it sooner.” He admits so softly, so sadly that it makes Kihyun want to hold his face again, somehow channel some comfort into him. When he reaches for Minhyuk this time, Minhyuk takes his hands and folds their fingers together.

Kihyun, pleased that the dream was finally going somewhere, lets him.

**[Thursday]**

Kihyun wakes up alone, disoriented, and starving in a pitch-black room. He can’t recall any coherent memories of what exactly happened, only that his pain meds had been particularly powerful this time. There is a strange sense of dread in the pit of his stomach that’s increasing at the continuous vibrating his phone is doing next to him.

He is not prepared for it when he flips it over and sees his screen covered in notifications.

_**<<You said you were proud of me, hyung?>> **_Is the most recent text he can see, Kihyun doesn’t have to try hard to picture Mingyu’s expression when he sent it. What Kihyun can’t picture is him actually telling Mingyu that—the last thing his (secret) favorite dongsaeng of Seventeen needed was an ego boost. The rest of it isn’t any better—all his notifications are going haywire, including some increasingly concerned texts from staff about something he did on the fancafe. Kihyun can’t even remember logging into the fancafe, can’t even recall having his phone on him at all after he went to bed.

The biggest sign something is amiss however, is that Yoongi is calling him. Not just calling him, actively trying to facetime him. They literally haven’t spoken to each other face to face in months.

The pit of dread is now expanding to a bottomless chasm. Resigned, Kihyun finally accepts the call on the final ring.

Yoongi looks exhausted, but what else is new. It’s late in Seoul even though Yoongi’s windowless studio doesn’t show any of the glittering nightlife that surrounds it. The monitor glowing behind him as a backdrop makes it hard for Kihyun to focus for a minute. He’s got hair shoved under a black beanie, Adidas sweats on with a scowl.

...That can’t be good.

“You’re finally lucid.” Yoongi rumbles, timbre deep, familiar, and on any other occasion, sorely missed. Taking in the dark room around Kihyun, he rubs at his face with ringless fingers, clearly gearing himself up for something unpleasant. “You...you don’t remember what happened do you?”

“I remember sleeping.” Kihyun reports, Yoongi scoffs harder.

“...Try again.”

“What do you mean ‘try again’? I passed out last night after I took my pain medication.”

“I don’t know what else you did differently this time but you did not just ‘pass out’.”

Kihyun swallows, the sensation causes his dry throat to feel itchy and sore. Images are starting to come back to him now stronger, faded at the edges like a vintage photograph—he feels a very terrible sense of disconnect.

The very sharp and clear image of Minhyuk’s face, uncharacteristically shell-shocked, unsettles him.

“What are you saying?” He attempts a weak chuckle, trying to rile Yoongi up. “I haven’t talked to you in months and you’re trying to prank me into—”

“—How can you not remember?” Yoongi cuts in, already weaving past Kihyun’s defense mechanisms with ease. He’s had enough practice over the years. “I’ve been drinking with you, back when you couldn’t even tell the difference between good and bad beer—and you were able to remember all those times plenty.”

“What am I supposed to be remembering if you’re so—”

That’s when it hits him, in terrible clarity, the memory of cooing at Minhyuk, holding his face in his hands, of calling Yoongi with one arm wrapped around Minhyuk’s shoulders.

He remembers slurring his speech even as he declared, leaning into Minhyuk with a giggle: “_—He’s so cute, isn’t he? I can’t stand him sometimes but he’s so pretty and like your visuals can’t even compare—sorry Seokjin-hyung!”_

Kihyun drops his phone.

Yoongi takes his reaction in with a bemused expression, though his eyes are kind: “I’m not sure why you thought calling me in the middle of the afternoon when I was with my members was a good idea but you did.”

Oh great, it got worse—Kihyun had done all this with an _**AUDIENCE**_. Wonderful.

He groans as he buries his face in his hands. He can’t remember all of the conversation, but what he can remember is mortifying enough that he wants to risk more injury and just throw himself out the window.

“...I think that’s the first time I’ve seen Minhyuk genuinely speechless—well done.” Yoongi continues, unbothered by Kihyun’s rapid descent into hell.

Kihyun groans louder behind the barricade of his own fingers.

*

Hyungwon shows up once more in place of Minhyuk, this time with Starbucks coffee and a beige box of pastries. Kihyun, preoccupied, lets him in with a greeting. He doesn’t even complain when it becomes obvious that Hyungwon knows his coffee order enough to order everything the complete opposite of how he likes it.

(“These are actually from Jooheon—he feels guilty that he hasn’t been able to see you—”

“His family is over and he's the only one of you who actually is letting me _**REST**_—”

“—he got you these and told me to tell you he misses you.” Hyungwon had finished, stealing a bite of Kihyun’s cream cheese and guava pastry brazenly before handing it to him.)

It becomes clear within moments that Hyungwon knows. He’s openly staring at Kihyun, hand resting on his palm as Kihyun eats.

“You know, don’t you?” Kihyun accuses, swallowing around a final bite of pastry crust. He brushes the crumbs from breakfast into a pile. He has a serious debate about gathering the crumbs in his hand and blowing them in Hyungwon’s face.

Particularly when Hyungwon prompts, unhelpful and somehow smug, Starbucks’ green straw trapped between his lips: “About?”

Kihyun should have expected this, even then he’s irritated anyway. He sweeps the crumbs into the palms of his other hand, rising up from the desk to throw them away. He’s not even sure why Hyungwon is here, he doubts Minhyuk is the one who sent him this time.

“Nevermind, forget it.” Kihyun says, already walking away to wash his hands in the adjoining bathroom. He doubts Hyungwon will take the hint but he’s not in the mood to entertain him. His mind is so tired trying to pick apart what he did last night and what exactly he said that he almost feels like he’s coasting on everything else.

“He’s the one that went about this the wrong way in the first place, you just escalated it.” Hyungwon offers up, cryptic as ever, Kihyun turns with a skeptic expression. Hyungwon is going through the rest of the pastry box with a slide of his giant hands. “Minhyuk’s always been clumsy, especially when it comes to things like this. You’re just going to have to give him space Kihyun-ah.”

“You make it sound like I’m chasing him.” Kihyun accuses, unsettled just the tiniest bit, thoughts pausing to consider what the fuck that actually meant. An irrational part of him wants to just corner Minhyuk but involves seeing Minhyuk so soon after and Kihyun can’t even entertain it.

“You’re not chasing him.” Hyungwon agrees, reaching for his iced Americano. He tips his head just so, gaze expectant. “...But you are waiting for him, aren’t you?”

*

Maybe just to be stubborn, maybe just to prove him wrong—definitely to annoy him, Kihyun drags Hyungwon out to take pictures of him in the park nearby.

“No one cares Kihyun—” Hyungwon says, even as he tilts his long, lanky frame to capture the best artful shot of Kihyun surrounded by foliage.

“_Monbebe_ have been asking about me I know it—I saw the v-live.” Kihyun argues back, trying not to move his lips too much from their pouty grin.

“God, how are you even _**MORE** _unbearable when you’re not even around—” Hyungwon snorts, tilting his back out further, dutifully snapping up pictures on Kihyun’s iphone as they argue.

“—Shut up and help me take pictures, Hoseok-hyung usually does it but he’s busy—”

“—Changkyun’s busy with him you mean.”

“Just take the damn picture.”

They don’t do much after—bickering mindlessly as their visit to a local park turns to a visit to a visit to a local mall. He can’t keep his thoughts off of Minhyuk, especially when it becomes obvious that Minhyuk is definitely texting Hyungwon and Hyungwon definitely doesn’t care if Kihyun sees it. Kihyun doesn’t bother giving him the satisfaction about asking about it.

Bitterness is something he hasn’t felt in a long, long time.

Kihyun can’t say he’s missed it.

*

It’s pitch black when Kihyun wakes up to someone sitting next to him, skin tingling at the sensation of body heat so close to him in the freezing chill of the room. He has a pang of deja vu from the night before, he is much more conscious this time around. He’s trying to push past the drowsiness of his mind, there’s something he wants to say if he can just remember it.

“It’s not like you to sneak into my room like this.” Kihyun ends up greeting instead, words cotton-like in his mouth. He swallows around the dryness in his throat—he already knows who’s sitting next to him in the dark like this. It’s the same person that’s been sneaking in and out of his room this entire time.

“I do this with everyone.” Minhyuk reminds him, voice low in whispered tones, like he’s not quite sure if Kihyun is awake and present. He doesn’t sound embarrassed that Kihyun could recognize him, but Kihyun can’t see his expression to confirm. “I snuck into Hyunwoo-hyung’s room earlier for a nap after swimming, it’s not that big a deal.”

He’s not wrong, their personal boundaries have always been porous—it’s not strange for Minhyuk sneak into the rooms of other members. Minhyuk regularly napped with Jooheon on their couch in the dorms, had even taken over Changkyun’s bed with Changkyun in it on more than one occasion. Minhyuk was notorious for his constant affection seeking with everyone else in the group. He just never extended that affection seeking or bed-sharing with Kihyun.

“You do this with everyone but me.” Kihyun corrects, tone bemused. It’s not like he’s upset by it—it’s not exactly new information. “I’m surprised is all I’m saying.”

Minhyuk is silent, he lets out a long breath after a moment. Clumsy, Kihyun reminds himself, Minhyuk is clumsy. He knows this, even before Hyungwon had reminded him, he had known it deep down.

“Maybe I was working up to it, maybe I was saving you for last.” Minhyuk offers up, moreso to himself than Kihyun. There’s the tentative brush of fingers in his hair again, softly and with shaking fingers. Kihyun, brave and bold, leans into the touch. He can feel the relief almost tangible in the air as Minhyuk sinks his fingers in with more effort. “You know, you’re so small and your bed is so big and empty I felt so bad for it.”

At any other time, Kihyun would have risen to the bait. This time, he hears Hyungwon’s voice in his ears, and says nothing. He waits for Minhyuk.

He can hear Minhyuk fidgeting, the rustle of clothes as he shifts in bed.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you today.” Minhyuk settles on, eventually. “I...I’m sorry for a lot actually.”

He sounds so sad, so apologetic that it bothers Kihyun immediately. Minhyuk’s allowed to have space, especially given how Kihyun acted last night—he didn’t owe Kihyun anything. This wasn’t like him, like either of them.

“You have nothing to be sorry for—you are allowed to do whatever you want Minhyuk. You don’t need to hold my hand, you’re a grown adult.” Kihyun states, drowsiness now fading into irritation. “I was fine, I am fine. You didn’t need to do any of this, I would have been alright.”

Kihyun can tell he’s said the wrong thing because the hand in his hair goes limp. That’s frustrating too—it just annoys him even more. He doesn’t know what’s been going on with Minhyuk and Minhyuk was the one person he’d always been able to rely on for consistency.

“What do you want Minhyuk?” Kihyun demands at the continued silence, downplaying his frustration over all of it—Minhyuk’s weird behavior, his injury, feelings he thought he had gotten over—and attempting exasperation. “I can’t tell what you’re thinking anymore.”

“Could you ever?” Well, glad to hear he wasn’t the only one getting frustrated. Kihyun is so tempted to turn it into a fight again, to turn on the light and just have this turn into one big screaming match. It’s just, he knows that won’t make it all go away, no matter how much he wishes it would.

“I’m serious.” Kihyun says, working past all the messy thoughts in his mind, tone more vulnerable than even he expected. “You’re not yourself and it’s...weird.”

Minhyuk makes a huffing noise at ‘weird’ in offense that fades into muttering about ‘disrespect’ and ‘rudeness’ that feels performative. Kihyun stays exactly where he is, blinking in the open darkness and waiting.

“I think I know what I want now just...I think I’ve messed it all up.” Minhyuk says, fight audibly leaving him, the hand in Kihyun’s hair still isn’t moving. It’s not unpleasant, it’s just strange—Kihyun hasn’t ever been an anchor to someone like this before and he’s clearly one to Minhyuk now. “When they said you got hurt I got so angry at you—”

“—I remember.” Kihyun cuts in, because he really does, Minhyuk’s yelling had actually been enough to break him out of the sea of pain he had been in. He hadn’t even cared that yelling made the pain so much worse, Minhyuk had pissed him off that much. “Hyunwoo-hyung and Hoseok-hyung had to pull you away.”

“—You don’t understand why I got mad at you though.” Minhyuk continues, though he sounds sheepish. The chastising he had gotten later must have been memorable. “I wasn’t...I was mad at you, but I was mostly mad at me. You could have died—”

Kihyun can’t help but click his teeth in rebuttal.

“—Stop that, could you just—just listen. Please.” Minhyuk’s hand fidgets on the soft skin of Kihyun’s scalp. Kihyun aquises wordlessly—waiting, he was supposed to be waiting. “I was scared Kihyun—something could have happened to you and I realized that if something had, I would have wasted our last moments together yelling at you when really I was mad at myself for never telling you. I could have lost you Kihyun, we all could have. You’re my friend, you’re one of my good friends even though we never admit it. There’s so much I never told you and you could have just died without ever knowing. I got...I got scared so I offered, well, forced you to let me take care of you even though, I didn’t know what I was doing. I knew that you should have been left alone but every time I just thought about never seeing you again and—I overreacted. Like a lot. I think I drove everyone crazy, including you. I should have just...told you how I felt. I should have done it a long time ago but Hyungwon’s right, I’m bad with these things.”

Kihyun hates how they’ve left the light off, he hates that he can’t see Minhyuk’s face right now. The only saving grace is that Minhyuk can’t see his face either, can’t see how badly Kihyun is shaken up. How badly Minhyuk affects him like this.

“Minhyuk, what do you want?” Kihyun repeats, not trusting his own voice, feeling like he can barely breathe. It sounds like, it’s almost like—but—it’s—

“I want _**YOU**_. Well okay, not like that—only a lot like that. I like you, I like you a lot and I thought it would go away because I get a crush on like everyone but the more I got to know you the more I liked you. I hate that you thought it’s cause of that dumb diet, I’ve always liked you no matter what size you were I just—” Minhyuk is rambling wildly, Kihyun has to concentrate to break apart the words because they’re all running together. “You stopped being some ‘cute’ teammate of mine. I mean, I think Jooheon is cute, I think Seungkwan is cute—we all think Kyunnie is cute when he’s not trying to be lewd towards Hoseok-hyung—you’re different. It’s not that I didn’t find you cute anymore, I couldn’t see you as some cute dongsaeng—you’re Kihyun-ah and I like that, I like you. I like all of you, all of you is cute to me.”

Kihyun opens his mouth, lets it hang open even as he processes it all.

“Okay.” Is all Kihyun manages after a moment, his brain short-circuiting because this is all...too much. Leave it to Minhyuk to break him like this. It falls flat between them immediately. The hand in his hair starts tugging and Kihyun, pinches what he thinks is Minhyuk’s side.

“I confessed all my feelings to you and that’s all you have to say?” Minhyuk demands, tugging—not enough to hurt but enough to be annoying, Kihyun pinches harder. “Ow, you’re hurting me physically along with emotionally—you’re the worst. I take back my feelings.”

Minhyuk gets the lamp to turn on, the whole room is illuminated—including Kihyun’s face, which even squinting at the sudden light, he knows is flushed. He’s never felt so elated, confused, enamored, irritated, and charmed all at once—it’s all so overwhelming, the fact that they’re mostly good emotions is almost lost on him. Minhyuk’s hand in Kihyun’s hair feels like a caress now, even if he’s clearly waiting for Kihyun to say something, anything else.

“It should be obvious how I feel about you.” Kihyun relents, fighting the urge to hide his face in his hands, particularly cause Minhyuk is staring at him with such softness, such tenderness it’s almost too much. He’d wanted this so badly years ago, he’d just never allowed himself to do anything besides suppress it. He’s grinning, he can feel it in the dimples of his cheeks. “Don’t you dare take back your feelings now.”

Minhyuk sags in relief, he clutches at his chest, glaring at Kihyun even though he can’t quite hide the affection in his eyes. “Weh, you scared me! I thought I had missed my chance—you’re the worst. I don’t know why I like you so badly.”

Kihyun laughs, reaching over to tug at his arm, pull Minhyuk down next to him on the bed. They both miscalculate, Minhyuk releases Kihyun’s head only to land on top of him with a grunt, propped up on his elbows, legs bracketing Kihyun on either side. It’s such a cliche, such an awkward moment that they share one look and immediately burst into guffaws. Minhyuk laughing hard enough he has to lean his forehead against Kihyun’s.

The laughter dies in Kihyun’s throat instantly.

Minhyuk stops, licking his lips as the reality of how close he is finally hits both of them. Minhyuk smells good, like mint and that vibrant tang of the aftershave he adores so much, Kihyun is sure he has morning breath and smells like musty sheets. Minhyuk is staring at him like he doesn’t mind it, and Kihyun lets out a long breath from his nose.

“You know, you can kiss me—that’s what usually happens after confessions.” Kihyun remarks, reaching up with his hand to lay it on Minhyuk’s cheek. “Am I too intimidating for you? Do you need the nurse’s outfit for me to do it?”

Minhyuk groans, pained.

“Hyungwonnie wouldn’t stop laughing at me for that one.” He admits, lips pursed in a pout. “He wouldn’t stop laughing at me about all of this.”

“And the reason you’re still not kissing me is because—”

“Bossy, bossy.” Minhyuk chides, even as he lowers himself down to finally, finally press their lips together. Minhyuk’s lips are slightly chapped, rough on the parts he’s clearly bitten—Kihyun doesn’t mind it. He’s gentle, like Kihyun will change his mind somehow, and Kihyun sighs, tugging him closer. Minhyuk’s a good kisser, eager and enthusiastic, Kihyun opens his mouth just the littlest bit so that Minhyuk can kiss him deeper, He can feel Minhyuk’s tongue swipe across his teeth. It’s not a very long kiss, the angle’s too awkward for that—but it’s nice, leaves a low simmer in Kihyun’s lower belly. Minhyuk’s kiss leaves him dizzy drunk, giddy, and besotted in a way he hasn’t been in a long time.

  
“I’ve wanted that for so long.” Minhyuk confides, poking him in the cheek. Kihyun rolls his eyes, Minhyuk titters and does it again.

“You better be staying the night now.” Kihyun huffs, fisting the front of Minhyuk’s sweatshirt, to pull him down for another kiss.

“Kihyun-ah, how scandalous.” Minhyuk teases, voice dropping low, gaze heated.

“I have a fractured rib, we are not doing anything outside of this.” Kihyun deadpans, Minhyuk’s face falls.

“Oh shit, should I move? What if—” Minhyuk is already starting to jostle the two of them, moving to get off of Kihyun and more than likely to throw himself across the room. There’s panic in all of his movements, especially in his face. Kihyun snorts and tugs on his sweatshirt again, distorting the Nike logo under his fingernails.

“Just stay Minhyuk—stop panicking, it’s fine. We’re fine.” Kihyun declares, stern enough to break through the buzz of Minhyuk’s mind. He relaxes his grip, locking eyes with Mihyuk, finally letting some vulnerability through. “I just want to spend our last night here together.”

Minhyuk unwinds, the line of his shoulders softens.

“Alright.” He acquires, rolling cautiously off of Kihyun and to his side. “If that’s what you want.”

“It is. All I want is for you to be here with me right now.” Kihyun assures him, leaning towards him, tilting his head up for another kiss. “You’re all I want.”

**[Friday]**

Past the curtain of photographers, the wall of fan cams, and the intimidating barrier of TSA in the privacy of the airline lounge, Minhyuk deems the complimentary coffee not good enough for Kihyun and offers to pick him up Starbucks.

Kihyun, bemused, watches him drag a half-awake Changkyun away from Hoseok and out the door before he can protest. Not that he would ever—free iced coffee on Minhyuk’s money would be nice in general, now that they’re dating, he relishes in being treated by his boyfriend.

The minute Minhyuk vacates his seat however, Hyungwon slides in, magazine in hand, movements barely conscious.

“Thank god he’s your problem now.” Hyungwon rasps, putting the magazine down to lean against his chair, myopically shaking his head. “Now he can stop screaming _**AT**_ me about you.”

“I figured he told you everything.” Kihyun isn’t exactly accusing, he’s not surprised. It was fairly obvious in the beginning in hindsight.

“Most of what happened, though a lot of it was him freaking out because you’re both terrible at communication.” Hyungwon reveals as alert as he could sound on minimal amounts of sleep. “He told me about everything except about you making an ass of yourself in front of BTS-sunbaenim.”

“What.” Kihyun stops watching Hyunwoo feed Jooheon mini-quiches to give Hyungwon the most disbelieving expression he can. Hyungwon flicks dust at him from the glass table in front of them. “So you did know—”

“All I know is that you made an ass of yourself high on painkillers and apparently Minhyuk was there and shellshocked.” Hyungwon insists, primly. “I don’t know what you said exactly. He didn’t tell me that part.”

“Who didn’t?”

“Who do you think? You’re not the only one with friends in BTS.”

“Oh right, J-hope—” Kihyun begins, studiously ignoring the embarrassment that quells in him at the memory. It’s too early and he has a valid excuse of painkillers, so he compartmentalizes.

“That’s_ Hoseok-sunbae_.” Hyungwon corrects, mock-stern. “But yes, Hoseok-ssi texted me but Minhyuk refused to say anything about it.”

“—You were worried about us? About me?” Kihyun interjects, surprised and feeling a little bit like an ass at the surprise. Hyungwon isn’t...exactly a friend, but he is a fellow member and they are getting along better now. Hyungwon apparently felt the same, brows skeptical. “Shut up, you know what I mean.”

“Kihyun-ah, we may not get along but it doesn’t mean I don’t care.” Hyungwon chides fond, sounding far more like a hyung despite their age difference. Not that it ever mattered with any of them. “Just cause I don’t nag like you do, doesn’t mean I don’t worry.”

“You know, you always complain about my nagging but you always go along with it anyways—”

“Just because you’re right sometimes doesn’t mean I have to like it—”

Before it can escalate into anything, the good will already starting to fade between them, Minhyuk walks through the lounge doors with their drinks. Hyungwon waves from where he’s stolen Minhyuk’s seat.

“Why didn’t you buy me one?” Hyungwon asks, straightening as Minhyuk hands Kihyun his drink.

“Because you’re a shameless seat stealer.” Minhyuk says between sips of his frappuccino. “You’ve got legs, you can go and get one. Changkyun is still in the area getting a protein shake for Wonho-hyung, he’s over by the place that’s just put out donuts.”

“So, there’s donuts?” Kihyun prompts, expression innocent. The mention of donuts sets a craving off in him. Minhyuk scowls, putting down his drink.

“Aish, you know some people are so happy that their handsome, world-famous, visual boyfriend loves them so much he’ll wait twenty minutes in a Starbucks line for them—” He says, going for theatrics as he puts his hands on his hips. Kihyun, shameless even with Hyungwon watching them with a resigned look on his face, grins.

“I’ll kiss you.” He says, leaning forward in his chair. “We’ve got hours till our plane leaves.”

“...Alright, so you want sprinkles, yeah?” Minhyuk asks, even though he’s already reaching for his drink. Kihyun smiles at him, just him—touched that even this dumb silly thing, Minhyuk would do for him. Minhyuk winks at him, Kihyun despite it all, laughs at it. Hyungwon sighs louder next to them, ignored.

“I do.” Kihyun confirms, before getting up from his chair with his own drink. “You know, I’ll just go with you. We’ve got hours, right?”

**Author's Note:**

> help me i’m in mx and kim seokjin hell but also i’m still working on peter spite-healing mysterio back to health and other mcu fics (hi endgame i have like 3 devoted to you alone). i’m just tender from idols ok. also dfw mbbs what is up.


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